Staying on track is an executive functioning skill that is often confused with paying attention. While both skills require an element of focus, staying on track takes a longer view. It draws on resilience, perseverance, and focus as those elements work together to allow your child to push through to the completion of a goal and not be put off by difficulties or competing interests. 

Following are ways you can help your child strengthen their ability to stay on track. Keep in mind that the strategies that help will vary from child to child. Pick and choose ideas that resonate with your child, recognizing the best strategies may be different from project to project or week to week.

Clarify the Motivation

Humans don’t generally complete tasks without seeing the value in doing so. Take a moment to make sure your child knows what makes their task or goal meaningful to them. This is easier when they can identify some internal motivation (caring about their grades, making a team, earning money for an item they want, etc.). It’s also ok to do things just to keep the peace or because it’s required, which may be motivation enough at times. For cumbersome tasks today (e.g., homework) that lead to real accomplishments down the road ( college, a desirable job, moving out, etc.), a prominently placed vision board can be helpful. This free downloadable motivation chart is also a fun device to use with an older child so that they understand how they might increase their motivation for a particular task or goal. 

Develop a Growth Mindset

Your child’s willingness to keep trying when the going gets tough is intertwined with their belief that they can learn and improve through their experience and effort. This is where encouraging positive self-talk and reminding your child that “the power of yet” can have an impact: When your child accomplishes something they are proud of, encourage them to take notice of all of the hard work and struggle that went into the accomplishment. When they exclaim that they can’t do something, help them reframe simply by saying “You can’t do that—yet,” implying that if they keep trying, they will accomplish what they’re working on. Help them engage in any of the self-reflection practices that teach them to value the process over the outcome and recognize opportunities for growth. 

Balance Support & Self-Sufficiency

Asking for help is both a strategy to stay on track and an indicator that your child lacks the goal-directed persistence to do so. The key is the point at which they make the request. Essentially, you want your child to find help at the moment when they have moved just beyond what they can accomplish on their own—too soon and they don’t stretch their abilities, too late and they give up. Educators refer to this Goldilocks point as the “zone of proximal development,” meaning they’ve gone as far as they can on their own and will need support to complete the task. Consider employing one or more of the following strategies depending on where your child is on the continuum.

For those who ask too late: Start by helping your child understand that everyone needs help from time to time. Use community, family, and celebrity role models to illustrate this point. 

• Work with your child to identify people they trust enough to admit when they are stuck and praise your child when they do admit it. 
• Gather teacher information and the name of a friend in each class on one sheet of paper at the start of each school year as a way to normalize this practice. 
• At the start of a new endeavor, be proactive and help your child brainstorm potential challenges, who they can go to for help, and how they might ask for it. 

For those who ask too early: Research shows that kids learn the most from challenges, and they need to go through challenging situations to reap that benefit. If your child is so quick to ask for help that they don’t get the chance to flex their problem-solving muscle, you can help them build resilience by doing any of the following:

• Take a cue from teachers and insist on “3 before me.” Your child should try 3 times (or 3 strategies) before asking for help. This also gives you the chance to praise their effort and creativity in approaching the problem.
• Model your approach or involve your child when you do step in to help. Talk through your thinking and ask them questions about how they’re thinking about the problem. If the solution is a task, do it with them, not for them whenever possible.
• Help kids identify a specific challenge and make a specific request when they need help. You can prompt this with phrases like “Show me the hard part” or with open-ended questions that help them break down the problem: What would be helpful? How did this problem occur? What’s not working? Then you can offer the minimum support they need to get unstuck. 

Trouble Shoot Proactively

The best goal setting is more than just a goal and steps to get there; it recognizes from the start that accomplishment and challenge go hand in hand. Teach your child to approach their goals with the following considerations:

• Obstacles. Depending on the situation, what might get in the way of accomplishing this goal or why hasn’t your child accomplished it yet? Push them to think about obstacles that are within their control and obstacles they cannot control.
• Supports. What support can they put in place or can others offer to overcome those obstacles? This might take the form of an accountability partner, reminders, lessons, having the right tools for the job, or any number of personal or environmental supports. 
• Reflection. How and when will your child assess progress and make adjustments? Recognize from the start that things are not likely to go as planned and your child will need to adjust along the way to accomplish their goal. 

Is This Your Child?

If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, your child will likely benefit from strategies to stay on track.

Does your child…

· Give up on homework assignments when a question is challenging?
· Leave a series of unfinished passion projects in their wake?
· Ask for help before trying on their own?
· Struggle to find a hobby or interest that they want to stick with?
· Have goals for their future that seem disconnected from their current actions and priorities?
· Continually try the same approach to solve a problem even when it hasn’t worked?

Related Smart Kids Topics 

• Does Your Child Have Grit?
• Promoting Responsibility