Prioritize Relationships Over Schoolwork

By Daniel Franklin, Ph.D.


While everyone would agree that your relationship with your child is more important than schoolwork, too often parents lose sight of the priority when schoolwork and grades are on the line • Educational therapist, Dr. Daniel Franklin explains how realistic expectations will help your child with LD succeed while fostering a positive parent-child relationship

We run into problems when we allow schoolwork to undermine the relationships we have with our children. It is easy to see how this happens: parents become short tempered when an assignment is due, anxious when material hasn’t been mastered in time for a test, and disheartened when learning takes a long time.

Your child’s capacities are developing on a timeline that is unique to him or her. Forcing children to do something they are not ready to do diminishes their self-worth. In fact, the chronic anxiety among so many children who have Language-Based Learning Disabilities (LBLD) results from their knowledge that the demands placed on them exceed their capacities. When these children face reasonable expectations, they are highly motivated and engaged. They feel acknowledged and connected, and their success breeds further success.

It’s also important to remember that children are consistently inconsistent. Just because they are able to do something one day does not mean they will be able to do it again the next day. By understanding this from the outset, you can be more at ease when helping your child and less frustrated when you need to provide support for something you thought your child could do on his or her own.

If it were easy for your child to do something on his or her own, it would be done!

It is essential to realize that supporting children with LBLD often means helping with schoolwork daily from elementary school through high school and even into the early years of college. This is why it is so important to prioritize your relationship over schoolwork. You will be working together a lot, over a long period of time. The stronger and healthier your relationship is with your child, the more likely it is you will be a successful team.

This article is excerpted from Helping Your Child with Language-Based Learning Disabilities (Strategies to Succeed in School and Life with Dyscalculia, Dyslexia, ADHD, and Auditory Processing Disorder), by Daniel Franklin, PhD; published by New Harbinger Publications (2018). Available at Amazon through this link: Helping Your Child with Language-Based Learning Disabilities. Dr. Franklin is a Board Certified Educational Therapist and the founder of Franklin Educational Services. 

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