By Eve Kessler, Esq.

Cultivating friendships during the pandemic requires strong social skills and self-confidence, both of which may be challenging for your child with learning differences. Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., an expert in ADHD and Social Emotional Learning (SEL), sees quarantine as an opportunity for parents to help kids who struggle with social-emotional skills.

Maguire believes that if your kids work on SEL competence during COVID, they will be better prepared to maintain positive relationships once the pandemic subsides and they resume more natural social interactions. The following are strategies she recommends your kids can practice on video platforms or with family members:

1. Find kids who share similar interests. In online groups within the school or the community, help your child connect with peers she enjoyed in class but was not confident enough to approach; reach out to them now outside the larger group. Consider wearing a cool T-shirt or mask that displays a special interest (eg. Save the Planet, a favorite sports team, etc.) and that might inspire positive feedback.
2. Take a bird’s-eye view of the group dynamics. Work with your child to observe and decipher the unspoken rules and social norms of the group and determine what his role could be. Inventory the kids in the group: what does he know about them, their likes and dislikes? Interpret their body signals and social cues; step into their shoes and think about how they will receive his messages if he reaches out to them; coach him in adapting his communication style to the social norms around him; and monitor whether or not what he’s saying is working effectively.
3. Make small talk and try to progress to deeper conversations with people of interest. Dinnertime discussions, role-play, and practice with the family will help her get from, “Hi, how are you?” to more interesting, spontaneous conversations in the real world.
4. Build bonds and nurture relationships outside the online community. Encourage texting, chatting, FaceTime and using social media platforms to move slowly from shared group experiences to one-on-one activities. Promote staying in touch with new friends and building deeper connections.

This blog is based on the ADDitude expert webinar, Social Emotional Learning for Children with ADHD in Quarantine, by Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed., ACCG. Maguire is the founder and facilitator of an SEL training methodology (#ConnectionsMatter), and author of Why Will No One Play With Me?  Eve Kessler, Esq., a former criminal appellate attorney, is Executive Director of SPED*NET Wilton (CT), and a Contributing Editor of Smart Kids.

Related Smart Kids Topics

• Forging Connections in Quarantine
• COVID-19: Work on Social Skills