On a list of executive functioning skills, you will often see the term “metacognition.” For those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to the concept of self-reflection. Whatever term you use, this skill refers to your child’s ability to think about their experience and learning in a self-aware way; how they reflect on successes and failures and evaluate themselves in a given situation. Students who are not in the habit of self-reflecting often turn in work that has errors or does not represent their full understanding of the material. They are likely unaware of their strengths and weaknesses, making it difficult to identify academic strategies that work well for them.

Like other executive functioning skills, self-reflection can be improved by intentionally using strategies to build this skill. Following are suggestions to help enhance your child’s ability in this area.       

Task Monitoring

The most straightforward area to develop self-reflection is task monitoring as related to assignments. This is where students can take advantage of rubrics or individually developed lists to make sure the work they turn in is their best and also meets the given requirements.

• Use checklists. When a project is assigned, work with your child to create a checklist of what should be included (e.g., number of sources, show their work, illustrations, specific examples, correct spelling, etc.). You might also work with them to create a task monitoring list for common assignment types such as essays, lab reports, or math problem sets. Home tasks can similarly benefit from lists that allow kids to assess their performance before telling you they’ve completed their chores. What do you check when your child cleans their room? Move that information onto a list so they can take ownership and there can be one less argument in your house.

• Prompt reflection with questions. Not all experiences in life allow us to make a checklist before beginning. In those cases, help your child reflect by asking questions. After a test, after a play date, or after a stressful morning (and some time to calm down) honest questions from you will promote your child’s ability to reflect. Some excellent questions with wide-ranging applications include the following:
  • • • What can you do differently next time?
      • What allowed you to succeed? Or, What got in your way?
      • Who or what can help you?
      • Are you happy with the outcome? Why?
      • What are you proud of?
      • What would you change?

Awareness of Strengths & Weaknesses

Once your child can assess their performance on a specific task or their understanding of an individual concept, move them towards identifying patterns that will allow them to recognize strengths and weaknesses. Some students will do this naturally. Some will be able to do it in response to simple questions from you. For those who need a bit more structure, try a few different approaches depending on their personality:

• Gather data. Help your child make a chart. Students might sort test problems into categories such as “error of attention,” “question was hard,” or “I needed to study more.” Some benefit from reviewing feedback on a project and circling the positive remarks in one color and the areas for improvement in another. The key here is that they take a moment to arrange concrete feedback in a way that allows them to process it visually.

• Ask around. Hearing from people they respect can be impactful, and many kids will be pleasantly surprised at the number of adults who love them enough to share their thoughts. Encourage your child to ask people who know them well what they most admire about them and how they’ve seen your child grow and change over time. Start with family if that feels safest and allow your child to branch out from there.

• Journal. Adolescence is a time when many kids will journal enthusiastically and without prompting. Leverage that tendency by giving them a self-discovery journal such as the big-life journal or sharing a list of prompts to help raise their self-awareness.

Empowered Planning

Once your child understands their strengths and weaknesses, they can begin to make plans tailored to their unique way of being in the world and adjust those plans as they recognize what works for them and what doesn’t. They can also set their expectations for new challenges in alignment with what they understand about themselves, recognizing that reasonable goals are tied to their personal best and not to perfection. In that way, self-reflection ultimately gives your child the ability to be flexible and resilient.

Jenna Prada, a certified teacher and administrator, is the Director of Executive Functioning & Special Education at Private Prep and the Director of Learning at Sadar Psychological.

Related Smart Kids Topics 

• Executive Functioning: An Overview
• EF Skills: Task Initiation
• EF Skills: Paying Attention